The Nigerian Voice Magazine

The Nigerian Voice Magazine



Step outside of your comfort zone and shout NIGERIA anywhere in world, you will be amazed by the way heads will turn. The sound of the name means different things to different people depending on the interactions or dealings with Nigerian men; to some the name Nigeria is potentially seen as trouble, while to others, it’s the shortest form that defines a real man. The reality is that, every country in the world has its bad and good boys, why should Nigeria be an exception.


In reality how does one get to marry a decent Nigerian man, what are the things you must understand and the don’ts to keep the relationship happy?  First let’s take a look at the definition of the word decent. It means; conforming to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, respectable, worthy, kind, obliging, generous, etc, as in behavior, appearance or speech.


A decent Nigerian man is the same as any decent man from any part of the world but with an extra touch that gives him the edge. What is that edge? It’s simple; you come first before him in everything, there is a myth that says they are strong and blessed where it counts (Hope you get me). Decent Nigerian men are unique, challenging and very demanding.


Majority of the decent Nigerian men have a strong cultural background that defines who they are, they are proud of their tradition and have gone through an evolution of self cleansing to identify who they really are, what they want in life and in a partner.  Making an average decent Nigerian man compromise what he wants in marriage is not an easy task to attain but it is possibly especially when the woman is patient and understanding. Trust me; with a typical Nigerian man, patient and understanding has a very high reward.


I have taken my time to write this article, because I know for a fact that there is a lot of search for Nigerian men in almost every where you find Nigerians in the world, although reasons differ from person to person, depending on what your search is about. If it’s for a long lasting relationship that will lead to marriage, I suggest you add the word decent to your search. On the other hand I have also heard some foreign ladies complaining how Nigerian men have treated them. If that is the case, here is where most foreign women get it wrong.


Before you marry a Nigerian man, I advise you to put these into cognizance. If you think you can cope with the following, then I suggest you go ahead and if you think you can’t do them, don’t even start it.


Most decent Nigerian men are brought up with a culture that gives power to men, but most foreign laws gives absolute power to the women and as such they think Nigerian men are domineering and demanding. Well, the simple truth is that Nigerian men are pretty spoilt back home, In Nigeria, the thinking is that, the main responsibility of a man is to pay the bills, they will pay all the bill and even take care of more expenses but they don’t wash dishes and cook, they don't change diapers, they pay someone to do that if their wife is gainfully employed.


There should definitely be mutual respect in the home, a Nigerian man wants to be recognized as the head of the house, he wants to be able to give orders and be in total control of his home ( to a large extent). This system is totally absent in most foreign cultures who believe everything should be equal and whatever the man does, they should also do. Some women go as far as slapping their men, shouting at them, hitting them and even calling the police just to show superiority in the house. Besides, most foreign laws state that if there is a fight between couples, the man will leave the house for the woman irrespective of who owns the property. This is a major problem and challenge to a Nigerian man, several foreign ladies that are successfully married to Nigerian men either had to adjust or get him to shrink a little bit but that is not always easy, they will  rather turn the other way than get squeezed a little bit and that is the truth.


The average Nigerian man is family oriented and is attached to his parents especially his mother, brothers and sisters, to a large extend they have certain level of influence on him. Lack of support towards his feelings for his family is a big problem. There is always a strong family bond in most cases with sacrifices having been made for each other at one point or the other while growing up. Any woman that has a strong relationship with her Nigerian man’s family is a princess of his home, unlike foreign cultures where everyone minds their business and ultimately believes in rights.


The Nigerian man is a natural hard worker, they never get fed up with wealth acquisition, they never give up on success, that is the one thing you must understand about Nigerian men, they take responsibility and make sure their family as well as their woman is well taken care of, their children are the most beautiful gift they have, the boys are more spoilt, that is the truth. So if you expect a Nigerian man to sit with you at home and show affection when he is suppose to work, that might be a very big issue as he will become aggressive at a certain point.


While growing up, Nigerian men have been made to understand that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through good food. A Nigerian man love good food and appreciates Nigerian dishes more, not knowing how to cook is a serious crime to most Nigeria men. Nigerian men believe that a woman is responsible if she is good with domestic works and cooking. This is a very big problem with modern ladies and most foreign women as they live on take away.


These might sound funny and strange to non Nigerians. In Nigeria, a woman who is married and still goes clubbing is tagged as a loose woman. If at any time she feels like clubbing, she has to go with her husband or don’t go at all. Don’t misunderstand clubbing with chilling with friends. This is one of the biggest problems most Nigerian men have with foreign women. In most cases foreign women keep the group of friends they had before marriage, and still want to live almost the same life style as the case when they were single.  Nigerian men believe marriage comes with sacrifice and there should be a clear difference between married women and single ladies.


There are decent Nigerian men and there are kids in men’s skin, so finding decent Nigerian men will take time. The honest truth is that the average decent Nigerian man is not as complicated as he is perceived to be, all he wants is a happy disciplined home and a woman worthy to be called a wife, a decent woman he can trust with his kids and home. Frankly, you can date and marry a decent Nigerian man any day if you are willing and able to be a good wife.


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Article By Olaniyi Thevoice Abodedele.


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